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A principal of a small middle school had a problem with a few of the older girls starting to use lipstick. When applying it in the
bathroom they would then press their lips to the mirror and leave
lip prints.

Before it got out of hand he thought of a way to stop it. He gathered
all the girls together that wore lipstick and told them he wanted to
meet with them in the ladies room at 2pm.

They gathered at 2pm and found the principal and the school custodian
waiting for them. The principal explained that it was becoming a problem
for the custodian to clean the mirror every night. He said he felt the
ladies did not fully understand just how much of a problem it was and he
wanted them to witness just how hard it was to clean.

The custodian then demonstrated. He took a long brush on a handle out
of a box. He then dipped the brush in the nearest toilet, moved to
the mirror and proceeded to remove the lipstick.

That was the last day the girls pressed their lips on the mirror.


FU.NN


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Chrysler GT Panel Cruiser


Chrysler Pronto
An applicant was filling out a job application. When he came to the question, "Have you ever been arrested?" He answered, "No."

The next question, intended for people who had answered in the affirmative to the last one, was "Why?" The applicant answered it anyway: "Never got caught."


Farmer Joe

Farmer Joe decided his injuries from the accident were serious enough to take the trucking company responsible for the accident to court.

In court the trucking company's fancy lawyer was questioning farmer Joe. "Didn't you say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine,"' asked the lawyer.

Farmer Joe responded, "Well. I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule Bessie into the ... "I didn't ask for any details," the lawyer interrupted, "just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine!'".

Farmer Joe said, "Well, I had just got Bessie into the trailer and I was driving down the road ..."

The lawyer interrupted again and said, "Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question."

By this time the Judge was fairly interested in Farmer Joe's answer and said to the lawyer, "I'd like to hear what he has to say."

Joe thanked the Judge and proceeded, "Well, as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie into the trailer and was driving her down the highway when this huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop sign and smacked my truck right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other. I was hurting real bad and didn't want to move. However, I could hear ol' Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans. Shortly after the accident a Highway Patrolman came on the scene. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he went over to her. After he looked at her he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes. Then the Patrolman came across the road with his gun in his hand and looked at me. He said, "Your mule was in such bad shape I had to shoot her. How are you feeling?"